a bookish dream world

i read and freak out about it

a bookish dream world

Month: August 2019

Fandom Culture and the way Society looks down on fangirling : The BTS Example

This is actually kind of a self-discovery and realization I had while writing another post so I guess in a way, this is addressed to me too, as a reminder.

Recently, I started listening to BTS (and so I was writing about BTS on Twitter) and for some reason, I wanted to write about how I was NOT obsessed with them but how I did enjoy their music and how they made me feel.  And it struck me how a part of me was… ashamed ? DONT GET ME WRONG, THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT and I logically knew this fact.

However, for some reason, I couldn’t process it in that moment. I kept thinking about my Fangirl Age back when I was 13 and all the different Instagram fan accounts I had (not for BTS but for various TV shows like Doctor Who, Supernatural, Teen Wolf or movies like Harry Potter etc.). Now, I’m calling it my Fangirl Age but let’s be honest here, I never grew out of it. 

I’ve been very interested about how we as women (as a society) internalize a lot of bullshit that we then have to learn to debunk.

I think that the way people look down on fandom culture and specifically what we call “fangirling” is a testimony to how some people look at girls, as if being a “fan” is inherently synonymous with being childish and naive and other clichés when it comes to girls being passionate about something. (And by the way, I talk about fangirling and “girls” but I feel like fangirling transcends being a girl, or a guy, or a non-binary pal. I feel like I could’ve worded this better, I’m sorry I don’t know how.)

I’m taking the example of BTS because they’re a famous boyband (rightfully so) and because ARMY is mostly but not exclusively female (for some data) but it goes for every artist, every thing that we get obsessed with. Even using the word “obsessed” makes me feel some type of unease because it’s not obsession. It’s love and admiration and feeling understood and seen and being happy to be alive, to feel these weird feelings that we don’t always understand. It’s appreciation and it’s that indescribable feeling of Being Grateful and feeling so much love in your heart that you wish you could throw hearts around and burst (I’ve been extra emo lately, don’t mind me). 

And let me tell you something else that mustn’t be much of a surprise to you. Life is fucking tough and so, if you find something that makes you happy, don’t stop doing it. I’m not talking about murder, don’t murder please. I’m talking about listening to the music you love, and watching the movies you love and doing the things you love to do. Do them.

This also happens with the books I read. Reading YA, as a teen and then as a 20 year-old, I paid more attention to the disdain directed towards YA books because that disdain was also directed at Me, and at Readers of YA. People find the silliest thing to focus on, like the fact that you love to read fantasy or smut or God knows what. And listen, I’m not victimizing myself or others AT ALL. 

BUT YOUR TASTES IN BOOKS ARE VALID. I love reading, it’s not a secret and I love the book community. I love that there’s a place where we can all gush about our favorite characters and cry about bad plots, characters dying and morally grey characters who deserved better. I love that there’s a place where I don’t feel labeled as a nerd, or lame just because I like to read. But that’s not my point. What I’m trying to say is that WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO READ, IT’S VALID. Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of “I can’t believe some people read that stuff” and I SHALL NOT BEAR IT ANY LONGER. WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO READ/WATCH/LISTEN TO IS VALID.

SO WHAT IF YOU LIKE TO READ A CERTAIN GENRE ? Honestly, when it comes to reading/entertainment, the only thing that matters to me is enjoyment. And it goes for movies, music, art in general, LIFE IN GENERAL.  

And if you’re not mature enough to understand people can have different tastes and we all enjoy different things, get out of my face. If you’re not busy enough that you have to focus on and attack teenagers and twenty-something about their reading/music tastes, get busier

Research Posts I Found Interesting : 

✨This one by pastelcoloredpain on Medium.com
This one by Alice Oseman on ChildrensbooksIreland.ie
This one by Ava Butera on AtTheBarricade.net

What do you think ? Please let me know in the comments below ! 

My Blogging Experience #1 : Getting Started !

I thought I’d make this little series called My Blogging Experience because well… blogging is a whole new world for me and one I don’t think I had figured out. I started my blog five months ago because I’ve always wanted to be able to put my ideas OUT THERE (i.e the Big Ole Scary Internet) and engage with people who liked the same things I liked. Along with creating my blog, I created a Twitter account, which you can follow if you want !

Here’s what I learned so far : 

1) Blogging is WAY harder than you think : I took blogging for granted before even getting started, let me tell you this. Blogging takes so much more time than I thought : not because it necessarily takes me a lot of time to write something but because it takes me time to think that what I wrote is worthy. But here’s the beauty of blogging, you don’t have to be constantly reading to update ! I really like that about blogs because back when I didn’t have one, I thought about how I wanted to write about a variety of topics and I thought “But what if it’s a simple bookish blog, what will I do ?”. Well, turns out *insert That Mean Girls Scene* the limit does not exist. You can write about whatever you want, it’s your blog ! I write (and wanna write more!!!) about TV shows and movies and my student life because I see this blog as a creative outlet to express myself and the things I enjoy/struggle with. 

2) Plan your posts, Noa !!! (aka, something I still struggle with on the daily) Yup. I’m bad at planning. I haven’t written HALF of what I wanted to write initially when I started this blog and there IS a reason (multiple) for it. Even though I love to organize everything, planning posts has been hard. Getting started, I had planned to post on Mondays and Tuesdays and more often than not, I start writing a post the day before. 1/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND for one reason : I’m not proud of what comes out and if I’m not proud about it, I don’t want to post it. I like to think posts over, research etc. and I can’t really do that if I start doing it the day before. If I have no idea what to post, I’ll do a tag because I find them really easy (and sad because I never tag anyone). As of now, I can say I have ZERO posting schedule and… I’m not mad about it (even though I wanna set a regular posting system going). One reason I’m not mad about it is that lately, I’ve been happier with what I post because I simply write when I wanna write

3) Learn how to be confident (I KNOW IT’S HARD TRUST ME): this, I’m really passionate about because I’m NOT confident at all. Confidence is a process : it’s a fake it till you make it situation. And look, I didn’t believe in that phrase until recently. My main issue was and still is to be confident in my opinions. I overthink everything and for me, it’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of thoughts and self-doubts. I’ve had such trouble trying to talk to people because I always think “What if it’s too much ?” or “What if I’m annoying them ?” One of my biggest fears is to offend someone which I never want to do. Unfortunately, you can’t agree with everyone and that’s okay. As long as you’re respectful about it (and granted the person is not ignorant and rude), be honest and opinionated. I also like to remind myself I’m constantly learning. I don’t know everything about everything. However, I’m willing to be as open-minded as possible and always listen carefully to what someone has to say because hey, we don’t all have the same experiences. 

4) Just keep going : I’ve wanted to stop a lot because I was thinking no one was gonna read me anyways and truth IS, yeah it can suck somedays but it’s also such a relief sometimes. I like to write and I want to improve and a blog is the best way to do that. I’ve accepted that I’m not the best at making my blog aesthetically pleasing but I am good at not giving up and that’s what I’m doing. I’m writing and I love it. I’m learning things (so many !) about books, terminologies, but also about myself and my personality. Having a blog just forced me a little more out of my comfort zone and I’m grateful for it

5) STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS, ITS POINTLESS (SOOOO POINTLESS BITCH STOP IT): this is linked to lacking confidence in writing. I would go on WordPress and check out these amazing blogs with such eloquent articles and beautiful, lyrical sentences and I’d think to myself “fuck, what’s the point of me even trying to write something that’s gonna take me ages and is still never gonna be good enough ?” or “why write this when x post already exists ?”. This is a vicious rabbit hole you DO NOT wanna fall in. Whatever I wanna write, I should because… it’s my blog. But also because someone can write something brilliant and that doesn’t mean nothing will ever be written about it because again, what would be the point ? Doing something because you want to (like writing a blog post) is still valid

6) The community is really important and if you’re not A Social Bean, it’s hard but not impossible : get a Twitter account and engage with people or engage with other bloggers on WordPress, for example. I’m no expert, trust me but I think it’s important to try and talk to people not only because you have the same interests but because it feels good to talk and share experiences and learn new things (but also Twitter is kind of a hell site). Like I said previously, I have learned SO much from the book community, whether on Twitter or Youtube or Instagram or Blogs/Goodreads and it’s A Good Thing because there’s a lot to learn and sometimes, a lot to change. The final piece of advice I can give (and that might be a given but I’ll give it still) is to… read other blogs. So I already said that getting involved is important but this is something else I’m trying to express. Reading other blogs (their tips, their reviews etc.) is really helpful when it comes to figuring out your own style and what you want to write about. (Side Note : Twitter is great but fuck can it be toxic. It can honestly have such a huge impact on my mood if I let it and sometimes, it’s better to just log out.)

✨Three blogs I’d recommend that have helped me A LOT to figure shit out (I’m still trying hehe and I definitely wanna complete that list) :

Marija @ Inside My Library Mind (especially her article about Edelweiss and how to get ARCS. It changed my life especially as an INTL blogger because I get most of my e-arcs from there !)
Elise @ The Bookish Actress (legit in love with her writing and she has a “newbie guide” that is REALLY HELPFUL)
Kat @ Novels and Waffles (taught me a lot about how to have a pretty blog except i’m utterly talentless when it comes to aestheticsss and shit. still. this blog. popping.)

So I’m far from being an Expert at blogging and I can only speak from what I’ve personally learned but here’s my take on blogging !

Why I Think Unhauling Books Can Be Very Healthy And Beneficial

Disclaimer : this is not an attack toward people who enjoy having pretty shelves/having a lot of books. You do you boo, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m talking about what works for me 🙂

I moved houses a couple of weeks ago. We finally did it, moved to our new apartment and we’re not planning on moving again (for the record, I moved three times in the last two and a half years and it was exhausting). To make a long story short, back when we first moved in 2017, I had put a few of my books in boxes and down the basement they went, until we got a bigger apartment to store them in. And so 2019 rolled in, we have a new apartment and incidentally, I got my carefully-boxed-in-2017 books back.

Except, two and a half years is a long time. And I guess, when you say it like that, it’s not, right ? Except back in 2017, I was 18 and I’m now 20 years old and boy, have I changed A LOT.

Getting all my old books back felt weird. It also felt suffocating. Suddenly here I was with too many books, many of which I didn’t like anymore or I hadn’t liked in the first place but kept to maintain a semblance of “I-Have-My-Shit-Together-Look-At-My-Shelves” when really it was the opposite (having our shit together ? not in this house, ma’am).

I realized that my headspace has tremendously changed and I no longer feel like I have to keep these books. I looked at most of my old books and knew they didn’t belonged there with me anymore.

Un-hauling these books (i.e giving them to charity/selling them) felt so freaking good and it’s not something I thought I would ever feel. But the truth was, I was suffocated by them. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with giving your books again. Sometimes, I’m under the impression that there’s a pressure when you’re in the book community to have pretty shelves (you know, the “Instagrammable” type of shelves) but I then realized, it was a pressure I was putting on myself. No one was forcing me to keep them. And so I gave them away and it was… freeing. There’s something so nice about knowing that the books you own are the books you love.

Anyways, that’s it for today !
What do you feel works for you ? Do you un-haul books often ?

Tell me below, I’d love to talk !

By the way, not that anyone cares but I wanted to let y’all know that I’m going on vacation for the next two weeks so if I don’t answer to the (non-existing) comments, that’s why ! I’ll also post less (worse than usual I mean). I do have one post schedule but ya know.

July TV Shows Recs (Aka My Current Watchlist) #2

While the end of July was kind of A Whole Mess™️ everything wise, the first half wasn’t that bad in terms of discovering new TV shows ! I caught up on a bunch of TV shows I’ll share with you now !

Recently Watched ✨

1. La Casa de Papel Season 1 ✔︎
Rating : 3.5/5
Available on Netflix

I’ve really been liking where this show is going and although it’s not my favorite, I can appreciate the character arcs and the cleverness of the plot/ El Professor’s plan. The ending of season 1 had me on the edge of my seat. My favorite character for now is Nairobi. 

2. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 1 ✔︎
Rating : 5/5 
Available on Amazon Prime 

This TV show tells the story of Mrs Maisel, a married woman in the 1950s whose husband leaves her for another woman. She finds herself wanting to become a comedian. Mrs Maisel is ahead of her time, hilarious and wonderful. The aesthetics of the show are pretty but the cast of characters and Mrs Maisel delightful personality make the show what it is. I can’t recommend it enough. 

3. The Office Season 1 + Season 2 + Season 3 ✔︎
Rating S1 : 2/5
Rating S2 : 3/5 
Rating S3 : 3/5 
Available on Amazon Prime 

I’ll be honest… I don’t see what the fuss is about. While some of the comedic aspects are gold, I’ve rarely found myself laughing. Michael Scott is endearing but… for the most part, is very annoying. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve only watched it because my Best Friend loves it so much and she kept gushing about Jim and Pam (which honestly !!! I think watching the show for just these two is worth it). I understand that The Office was “groundbreaking” when it came out and in a way, I do understand why people like it, it’s just not something I would’ve gravitated toward. 

4. The 100 Season 5 ✔︎
Rating : 3/5
Available on Netflix

I won’t lie I have very mixed feelings about this season. While I enjoy the constant interrogations about morality and what we consider to be right (and how far we are willing to go to survive), I feel like this season was missing something. 

5. Good Omens Season 1  ✔︎
Rating : 4/5
Available on Amazon Prime

A Superior Show and that’s all. Invented Love as we know it. This show is a masterpiece (Crowley in the burning bookshop and then driving off while Queen plays OH AND THE GODDAMN SOUNDTRACK OF THIS SHOW). Good Omens will completely shatter your expectations : it’s a work of Art.

6. Stranger Things Season 3 ✔︎
Rating : 4/5 
Available on Netflix

The kids are supposed to be grown, right !!! BUT THERES TOO MUCH PAIN FOR THEM TO HANDLE, THEY DONT DESERVE ALL THIS SHIT. I feel like the hype over ST3 died down quite quickly but don’t get it wrong because this season was very good. Millie’s and Noah’s acting specifically have blown me AWAY.  Winona Ryder owns this ass, by the way.

Currently Watching ✨

1. Big Little Lies Season 2
Available on HBO (I watch it on a French paying streaming service)

I have 2 episodes left and I’m enjoying myself a lot (although less than in season 1). This season deals with the aftermath of Season 1’s events. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it yet. Meryl Streep (the newest addition to the cast) remains a phenomenal actress (I hate her character with a passion though)

2. Euphoria Season 1
Available on HBO (I watch it on a French paying streaming service)

I have 4 episodes left so I’ll address what I think of it when I finish it this month.

3. Romance is a Bonus Book
Available on Netflix

This show Owns Me, alright. I have the second half of it to catch up on. Romance is a Bonus Book is a Korean drama/romance telling the story of Kang Dan-yi, a 40 year-old divorcée. She doesn’t have a diploma and her husband leaves her for another woman but decides to get her shit together and starts working at a publishing company where her best friend/oldest friend Eun-Ho works at (Eun-Ho is also in love with her but has never told her). Honestly this show gives me the same feels as a good rom-com does and I keep swooning every two second. It’s simply amazing. Dan-yi’s resilience is inspiring and I love her with my whole heart.

Started Watching But Didn’t Finish/Kinda Stopped ✨

  1. 1. The Rain (saw 4 episodes) 
    Available on Netflix

  2. A Danish original series about a post apocalyptic world destroyed by a toxic rain. Brother and sister survived and are trying to find their dad who’s a scientist and could’ve found a cure. 
  1. 2. Fleabag (saw 2 episodes)
    Available on Amazon Prime 
  • – Woman loses her best friend
  • – Is a Mess™️
  • – Breaks the fourth wall and is brilliantly written (granted I only watched two episodes)

3. The Office Season 4 (saw 4 episodes)
Available on Amazon Prime 

I’m just… not really into it. 

What have you been watching during July ?
Any favorites ? Tell me about it, I’d love to know !!! 

July Wrap-Up And TBR !

July wasn’t a good reading month but actually, if I’m being honest, the last four months haven’t been that great reading wise. I moved houses so that took a lot of my time and I wasn’t able to read as much as I wanted. The Reading Rush happened and that was… fun. I completed the seven challenges and also read four books.

I found that of all the books I read for the last four months, nothing has really grasped my attention and I understood that I’ve been more focused on completing my Goodreads challenge rather than enjoying myself. Therefore, I lowered my challenge to 50 books which I completed last week. 

Let’s get to the Wrap-Up ! 

Books Read :

Roundup : 7 books read in July 2019

⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎Stars : 1
⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎Stars : 1
⭐︎⭐︎⭐︎ Stars : 5
⭐︎⭐︎Stars : 0
⭐︎Star : 0 
DNF : 0

🌺King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo (3 stars) : this was a bit disappointing. I did love the characters (I mean… obviously) but the plot didn’t interest me all that much. 

🌺The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum (3 stars) : creepier than what I expected. 

🌺The Wallflower Wager by Tessa Dare (Girl Meets Duke #3) (3 stars) : this comes out on August 13th 2019. The Wallflower Wager was very cute and fluffy which was what I needed when I read it. It got much more serious which I absolutely didn’t expect towards the end and does deal with sexual abuse and pedophilia.

🌺Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions 
by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (5 stars) : Dear Ijeawele educates but never belittles. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie is eloquent without ever being condescending. Her manifesto is smart, simple and brilliant.

🌺Hello Girls by Brittany Cavallaro and Emily Henry (3 stars) : The story follows Lucille and Winona, two seniors in high school, as they run away from their hometown. While I enjoyed the premise of the story a lot, I thought that the two main characters weren’t distinguishable enough in the narrative.

🌺Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (4 stars / 3rd re-read) : Every Single One of my experience reading Twilight has been unique and what I take from in changes every time. That being said, I truly did enjoy this re-read and I annotated my copy of the book in a very hilarious way if I do say so myself. 

🌺Death Note, Vol. 9: Contact by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata (Illustrator) (3 stars) : not my favorite and I’ve become less and less invested in the story as it goes on. However, reading Death Note has made me want to read more mangas (click here to read my GR update where a lot of people kindly recommended a lot of mangas for beginners)

Currently Reading :

This list is Dry AF and I’ve been reading these books for what feels like AGES. 

🌺Atonement by Ian McEwan : I’m SO excited to be reading this because I’ve heard so much about it 

🌺The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater 

🌺Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare : It feels like I’ve been reading this one for ages but I’m excited to see where the story goes. I just wish I’d read this faster. 

🌺A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab : everybody has been telling me that this book will break me, lmao and I don’t know what to expect. 

🌺Opal by Jennifer L. Armentrout : deffo not my favorite out of the other two I’ve read. Daemon’s possessiveness/protectiveness was cute but is now straight-up annoying/borderline disrespectful.

🌺Save Me by Bighit Entertainment (BTS Webtoon) : BREAK ME BOYS IM READY.

🌺Red Rising by Pierce Brown : I’m only 5% in and don’t have thoughts on it. 

What have you been reading in July ?
Did you participate in the Reading Rush ? Let me know below ! 

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