The Pressure of Not Knowing What To Do With Your Life (Uni Life #1)

April 11, 2019

(All this talk about degrees is my attempt at translating in English the way French Universities work. Xx)

I wish someone would have told me what I’m about to say back when I was in high school with a head full of dreams about changing the world and becoming the first female president of France (okay, that’s a bit much).

University is hard, my dudes.

I’m currently studying Law and History at University. This year is my third year (at the end of which I will get my Bachelor’s Degree). In June, I’ll have to choose which Master’s Degree I want to do.

As far as I know, I want to keep studying law. Uni is hard. Nay, it’s exhausting. Preparing a dual degree means having to work twice as hard and barely get through it. However, here’s the thing : I’m really good at being a student. I’m really good at going to class (okay that one is partly true) and turning in assignments. I love to learn new things. I love school, I love going there and seeing people, even people I don’t know nor do I intend to ever speak to them. It’s fun. I like it.

I only have two weeks of actual school left until finals (we have a two weeks left of school with actual classes, then about ten days to revise and finally about a week-long of finals).

It’s only getting harder.

The pressure, my dudes. First off, a little disclaimer : Don’t get me wrong : I am blessed, and forever grateful to get this education. I thank God every day for it.

So back to the “pressure” I was talking about. The truth is I don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. There’s an inherent pressure to being a high schooler and then a college student. It’s the pressure of everyone telling you to hurry up and find what you want to do. Be a lawyer, be a doctor or a dentist. Just be something. Hurry.

There’s something I want to address : hypocrisy. Like me, you’ve probably heard people say “Do what you love”, “Find your passion” etc. Well let me tell you something. You have to fight for what you want, what you love. Because life is not rainbows and long walks down the beach while the sun is setting. Following your passion is brave.

So Be Careful, I guess.

Be careful about what you choose but also know one thing : it’s okay NOT TO KNOW. I’m 20 years old and I don’t freaking know what I want to do. How do you expect a 17, 18, 19 or 20 year-old to instantly know what they want out of their life ? I don’t know and if you don’t either, let me repeat : it’s okay. What’s this pressure about knowing everything and having a carefully lied-out plan in front of you ? I haven’t experienced anything. What can a 20 year old want out of life ? Traveling, meeting people, changing the world and making a difference. If you love something with a passion, fight for it. Honestly, I cannot tell you it’s always gonna be okay and life’s gonna run smooth and be easy. That’s not true. It’s probably gonna hard and you’re gonna want to give up. The pressure can feel asphyxiating. Nonetheless, I have faith in you. I hope you’ll have faith in yourself.

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